King Lear Letter

                                                      His Highness, King Lear of England

The Year of our Lord 1001

Regan, of Gloucester
Gloucester

My dearest Reagan,

            Your sister is an outrageous stain upon the name of this family. She not only was an ungrateful host, but she kicked me out of her castle! For a supposed offence of having a hundred knights by me! She and her servants are ungrateful, vile beings, not fit to serve for Satan, as it were.  I am in so much shock from the transpired events; it has truly been a strike deep into my bosom. I pray YOU will be more understanding when I arrive within a few days.

            I arrived at your sister’s keep no less than a half-moon ago, and let me say that she is an excellent actor. She had my host and myself very well deceived as to her true intentions, until, of course, she chose to show her cards in the most brazen way possible. In a feat not unlike her childishness of old, she had herself and her servants refuse to converse with us. An outrage, I tell you! She is absolutely brazen in her disrespect.

            I moved to confront her after this was revealed to my by one of my fine, loyal, talkative men. Yet, once I confronted her, she quickly shifted the blame to those men of whom I travel with! My knights, my gentlemen, my loyal soldiers, held in contempt by my ungrateful daughter! Truly, this is an already outrageous disgrace on top of the disrespect she has already shown me! Your sister is an evil being, and she has her servants following her example to the letter! Oh the shame of knowing I raised one such as her!

            Oh, but the thing that truly ties my binds is the mannerism of her servants! They are ungrateful, sloth-like being who wouldn’t move with haste if their tailcoats were aflame with the righteous fires of Mt. Olympus! Even worse, one of their numbers had the gall to refer to me as my wretched daughter’s father, and only that! A gentleman of my court had the right mind to reprimand and beat the wretch, but mine honor was scarred. Such a disgrace must never go unpunished!

            So, my dear, I hope you art prepared for me. Your sister, damn her eyes, has broken my heart with her treachery! She is clearly unaware about how my word is law, turning on my men like that! And her servants, those blasted, evil wretches, why, I hope the gods smite the lot of them to the Pits! But I know dear that YOU will be more cooperative with my party. I had always loved you most, as I’m sure you know. Here’s to your health, and mine, and my hundred men at arms!

Love your dearest father,

Lear